This past Friday I had the pleasure of attending a floating “dealmakers” social hosted by Lisa Forrest & Banc of California. Several dozen business brokers, accountants, attorneys, wealth managers, bankers and entrepreneurs boarded the 62’ historic sailing yacht Circe. It was a gorgeous evening; a late-building breeze powered us through relatively calm waters toward the Northeast side of Bainbridge, with Rainier presiding over the Southwestern seascape. After a few glasses of wine, I was struck with an appreciation of just how strong our local community of deal advisors is, and the fact that it is a community. Now in my second decade as a deal attorney, I’ve been fortunate enough to work on deals all across the country, and several cross-border ones as well, from 9 figure transactions with dozens of advisors, to “microdeals” for new entrepreneurs. In many cases, the hardscrabble reputations of deal advisors are apropos (e.g. New York & LA I-bankers & attorneys). My takeaway: entrenched postures and brinksmanship tactics rarely serve clients’ interest well. Respectful, cooperative relationships with professional counterparts on the “other side of the table” are critical. In today’s deal environment, the “other side of the table” is usually a metaphor, as we conduct our business primarily via email and phone. But in doing so, it is so easy to fall into the trap of impersonal, adversarial negotiations. Make no mistake, zealously pursuing client interests is the paramount objective for any advisor. And yet, the achievement of client interests is inextricably tied to effective, professional communication. In other words, respect. One of my favorite authors is Edmund Morris. In his exceptional 3-part biography of Theodore Roosevelt, he shares many tales of Teddy forging bonds with political opponents: trekking through Rock Creek Park, swimming in the Potomac, playing tennis, or dining at the White House. This may have been strategic, but it was also sincere. Time and again, when thorny issues came up, he and the opponent had a foundational relationship and respectful dialogue as a platform for problem solving – something that is woefully absent in today’s politics. In our world, this “tone” starts with the client, and with their relationship with their counterpart, and flows out to their advisors. So my point is this: Buyer, get to know your seller, and vice versa. Break bread. Understand their story, and appreciate that the story of the business is their story. When the potholes on the path to the deal arise – and they always do – your investment in the relationships can make the difference between a done deal and the one that got away. Trite? Maybe. True? Absolutely.